The Talking Stik™ and The 7 Essential Skills for Conflict Communication

According to John Gottman, the leading marriage researcher in the past 40 years, research says that most couples wait an average of 6 years after noticing serious marriage problems before seeking help. Compare that to the heart attack victim and you can see why marriages are in need of good tools! In my extensive experience of working with couples, most report struggling with “communication issues” (which being interpreted means communication during conflict) because nobody struggles to communicate when things are going well.

In an attempt to proactively respond to this reality, I wanted to create a tool and a simple instruction video to help couples avoid the need for therapy by learning ahead of time ways to effectively communicate during conflict. Thus The Talking Stik and the 7 Essential Skills were created. 

My hope with The Talking Stik and the instruction found in the 7 Essential Skills video is that couples learn to manage their difficult conversations and not let them turn into “fights” that lead to trust breaches.

Many couples have never seen what it takes to make a marriage work and one thing is certain: trying to create a communication strategy after the conflict kick-off is way too late. In order for couples to be successful, they need a game plan ahead of time (military leaders call it getting left of the boom!) Truthfully, most marriage tools are really easy to learn but sadly are also very easy to forget when things get heated. Thus the importance of BOTH the training that the 7 Essential Skills provides along with the physical reminder (that in the moment object) that helps couples recall the skills they have learned. Simply holding The Talking Stik provides the tactile remembering necessary to take a breath and slow things down and I promise that makes a world of difference!

In this simple video tutorial, Sam and Kerri Moehlenpah, co-founders of Thrive@Home™, who are both licensed marriage and family therapists, and professional marriage coaches, explain the tools to help couples win together in conflict.